Shoppers' Paradise?

Further to my comments about food shopping, you'll be pleased to learn we actually located a real supermarket with real food yesterday. This is what I learned.
1. Trolleys are called carts.
2. You cannot spend less than an hour in a supermarket because they are so huge. You need to leave a paper trail even if you only want one item and want to get out before dawn the next day.
3. You need a degree to work out the pricing. There is the recommended price, the supermarket's usual price and the extra special super duper price for those lucky enough to have a loyalty tag hanging off their keyrings. (Ross made sure he got one double quick, of course).
4. Each product has a minimum of 835 varieties. Each variety comes in high fat, low fat, high sugar, no sugar, low salt, double chocolate chip and marshmallow. And that's just the cleaning products.
5. Take an umbrella to the fruit and vegetable section. Although most of the items are in sealed plastic bags, every five minutes a tape plays "Singing in the Rain" and water is sprayed all over them.
6. Most things are giant sized. The largest are always buy one get one free so you always end up with enough for the entire state, especially useful when there are only two of you.
7. Each cashier has a bodyguard. They are known as "packers". They steal your shopping and stuff it into flimsy carrier bags in any order they like. Each bag is then knotted so you cannot remember what you bought. Do not try to help. They will be mortally offended and report you to an industrial tribunal.