Dancing in the Dark

Last night, after 27 years of marriage, we tried something we've never tried before. We attended a dance class!
I've been pestering Grumpy to take me for years, but he never would. Not until Spike said he and Divine were thinking of signing up for some private classes. Suddenly, Grumpy was mad keen. Not sure why, I can only assume it's because he sees me as a inferior partner and fancies his chances of quick stepping with Spike.
Grumpy had thoughtfully brought along some formal shoes to replace his Timberland boots, but forgotten to bring a change of socks, so had to cram his thick woollen sock clad feet into them. I swear I could see his eyes watering as he stood up.
I decided not to wear my toe crunching sparkly dancing shoes in favour of something much more practical, but with a little heel. I was disappointed to see the lovely Divine had chosen some black diamonte studded peep toes.
"Oh, I'm not wearing these," she said gaily, and promptly replaced them with a pair of cream silk sling backs with four inch heels. Does that woman excude natural glamour or what?
Anyhow, we went along to a local dance school to learn the Hustle.
I know sometimes the midwest can be a bit behind Europe, but the Hustle? I thought that died out in the seventies.
"Oh no, it's enjoying quite a resurgence here in the States," said our knowledgeable instructor, who looked like she'd been let out of high school early to join us. "You can fit it to any disco music."
Disco? Oh well, I suppose it is what we used to do, so how hard could it be?
"Hold you partner like this. Just lightly touch hands," she said pointedly at Grumpy, seeing his vice like grip. I could see this was going to be something of a white knuckle ride for both of us.
"Just march gently like this to begin," said Alicia. "Then one step back, then forward. One, two, three, four."
Seemed easy enough. I concentrated hard and looked down at my feet. If I could stare them out, perhaps they would do as I told them.
Looking up I saw Grumpy had a somewhat crazed smile on his lips, and beads of sweat running down his face.
We'd only been going for 30 seconds.
"You might want to take slightly smaller steps," Alicia suggested, as she watched Grumpy clodhopping back and forth like a giant lumberjack. "Maybe we should change partners for a little."
Thank God. The dance was easy with Spike to guide me. And I wanted to show Divine just what I had to put up with. The real reason I didn't wear delicate shoes was that I needed all the protection I could get from Grumpy's leathal weapons - his feet.
After almost an hour, we had got half way through the dance. Spike and Divine were now able to glide effortlessly back and forth, while Grumpy and I had grown four left feet between us.
"Don't forget the Valentine's Dance on Friday," quipped Alicia. "You can practise this and we can always show you some new dances."
As Spike and Divine wrote the details in their diaries, Grumpy and I looked at each other.
A dance? In public? So soon? We may have to sit that one out....