From Our Civil War Correspondent

The year was 1861. President Abraham Pradel was sitting in the oval office of City Hall, meeting his generals.

“We have a tough battle ahead of us,” he warned them. “It’s giving me a headache, I can tell you.”

“Your headache has nothing to do with the battle,” replied General Brodhead. “It’s to do with your head. You’re supposed to be wearing a stovepipe hat, not an actual stove pipe.”

President Pradel reached up and took off the stove pipe, which landed with a clatter on the desk in front of him.

“D’you know you’re right,” he said. “I feel better already. Now, let’s make plans for the battle.”

The problems between North and South Naperville had been raging for many years. It started when settlers turned their farmland into strip malls and beautiful sub divisions.

The North Napervillians were very unhappy about this. People could get more for their money down there and there were even threats that the shiny new stores could take business away from the downtown area.

“Are you sure we need a battle?” said General Furstenau. “Wouldn’t it be easier to hit them with a law suit?”

“I’m a peace loving man myself,” agreed General Miller, pulling out some pieces of parchment. “I propose we settle this over a game of Battleships.”

“I’m sorry, but we can’t be expected to win a Civil War without a battle,” said President Pradel. “Besides, it will make a very exciting addition to our history books in years to come. Children always love a good battle.”

“You could have a point there Mr President,” General Wehrli agreed. “We could re-enact it every May at the Naper Settlement.”

“I like the way you’re thinking,” said General Fieseler. “No one is going to watch volunteers play Battleships. I vote for a real battle!”

“As long as no one gets hurt,” President Pradel interjected. “No need for that. Besides, Edward Hospital won’t be opened for nearly 100 years. Casualties would need to wait for treatment nearly as long as the English do in a National Health hospital emergency room.”

“Ok, so just a tiny battle,” General Fieseler agreed. “But you do need a really stirring address. You’re so good at them.”

“Well thank you General, I’d be happy to oblige,” said the President.

So it was on November 19^th, 1863, that President Pradel made his historical address from Gettysburg Court, Naperville, the battle was won, and the rest, as they say, is history.