Too Hot To Handle

You know it is summer here in Naperville when…

1. You step out of the shower and realize you’re not dripping with water but perspiration.
2. Cars can’t get down Jefferson because the road is blocked with customers lining

up for the four ice cream stores down there.

3. Steam rises from your plants when you water them.

4. It’s standing room only at Centennial Beach.
5. You no longer notice you’re having hot flashes because you’re hot all the time.
6. Chipmunks are sunbathing in your front yard.
7. You cannot sleep unless you can hear the sound of thunder.
8. The air is so humid you could cut it with a knife, only you can’t be bothered to find one.
9. You realize that bikini diet you started two days ago isn’t going to work after all.
10. You seriously consider breaking an egg onto the hood of your car to see if it will cook.
11. You can play join the dots with your mosquito bites.
12. Customers in Colonial Café demand real kitchen sinks are filled with ice cream.
13. You fantasize about vacationing somewhere cooler, like South America.
14. You save money on Hot Yoga classes by sitting in your car with the air conditioning off.
15. Ice cubes become a food group.
16. 2 a.m. seems like a really good time to go for a walk.
17. You stroke your favorite sweater fondly as you remember the last time you wore it.
18. Instead of opening the front door, you open the freezer door.
19. You stop wearing make up because you don’t need another layer.
20. You start counting down the days til Christmas.