After only 3 days in the gym, Ross was already looking better.

Shoppers' Paradise?

Further to my comments about food shopping, you'll be pleased to learn we actually located a real supermarket with real food yesterday. This is what I learned.
1. Trolleys are called carts.
2. You cannot spend less than an hour in a supermarket because they are so huge. You need to leave a paper trail even if you only want one item and want to get out before dawn the next day.
3. You need a degree to work out the pricing. There is the recommended price, the supermarket's usual price and the extra special super duper price for those lucky enough to have a loyalty tag hanging off their keyrings. (Ross made sure he got one double quick, of course).
4. Each product has a minimum of 835 varieties. Each variety comes in high fat, low fat, high sugar, no sugar, low salt, double chocolate chip and marshmallow. And that's just the cleaning products.
5. Take an umbrella to the fruit and vegetable section. Although most of the items are in sealed plastic bags, every five minutes a tape plays "Singing in the Rain" and water is sprayed all over them.
6. Most things are giant sized. The largest are always buy one get one free so you always end up with enough for the entire state, especially useful when there are only two of you.
7. Each cashier has a bodyguard. They are known as "packers". They steal your shopping and stuff it into flimsy carrier bags in any order they like. Each bag is then knotted so you cannot remember what you bought. Do not try to help. They will be mortally offended and report you to an industrial tribunal.

Red Tape

You cannot do anything in the U.S without a social security number. American babies usually get them as soon as they are born - I wouldn't be surprised if they grow like a birthmark in the womb and come out stamped on their bottoms.
For non-U.S. citizens it is a little more complicated. You have to present yourself to the nearest social security office which we duly did the other day.
Now, if there's one thing the Ameicans like more than shopping or food (or even shopping for food) it's officialdom. Not only is there a form for everything, but each form comes with it's own pack of forms explaining how to fill them in, how long it will take you and who to write to (in triplicate) should you have any complaints about said form.
When you arrive at the social security office you have to take a ticket and sit and wait. I was thrilled when we onlyhad to wait an hour before being called to the clerk's window.
A pleasant enough man, he copied all our info. onto his database with a snail-like ferocity. Name,
address, mother's maiden name. Ok so far.
"So you were born in London," he said. " Which city in London exactly?"
We had passports, visas and forms. So far, so good.
Favourite colour? No problem. Last time we ate a burger? Er. Length of time it took you to unpack your suitcase? Um?
Marriage certificate. Uh Oh!
"But of course we're married. We couldn't get the visa without proof."
"Sorry, we must have the certificate or we cannot begin the process for you madam. You're ok sir, but you...well.."
No social security number means no house, no job, no mortgage, probably not even a coffee from Starbucks.
"Can you come back tomorrow?"
So it's now day 2. So far we've been here 2 hours. I have a camping stove, a tent and a sleeping bag. This time I not only have my marriage certificate, but just in case, a wedding photo, a dried flower from my bouquet and a letter from the caterer. Oh, and my laptop of course.
What's that? No! I've been so busy writing that I missed them calling my number. Guess I'll have to come back tomorrow.

Welcome to our Crib

Follow this link to a video of our crib... http://s153.photobucket.com/albums/s206/hilarydecent/?action=view&current=MOV00105.flv

Shopping was probably invented by the Americans. When Christopher Columbus first dropped anchor he probably had to sail around the ship lot a few times, before entering the Mall of America to be greeted by native Americans trying to sell him time share teepees and arrow heads. Even in those days, I expect he had to buy enough arrow heads for an entire army, sealed in a giant carton with a health hazard warning on the back. (Please use responsibly. May cause injury if aimed directly at the enemy, that kind of thing).
Anyhow, I digress. First few hours in a new country, we needed to stock up on a few things for the apartment. How difficult could it be? Answer: Very. Fruit, vegetables? Not seen one. This morning's breakfast will comprise of last night's left over pizza swooshed down with a gallon of mouthwash.
It's ironic that the food is all giant sized, now there are just two of us. The toothpaste alone is so large Ross will have to hold one end of the tube while I squeeze the other. It's lucky our visa is for up to five years. It will take us that long to use up the bottle of Diet Coke.

Welcome to our brand new blog. It's aim is to look at the American way of life through British eyes. Hope you enjoy these reflections and please feel free to comment whenever you blog in,
Hilary