Sit Com Mom

Life is beginning to take on some sense of normality - whatever that is. The builders have left and yesterday Orphan No 1 arrived to join Orphan No 2, so we are one big happy family again - for a week at least.
In theory I can now fulfil the next part of our American dream - sit com mom.
I grew up watching American TV programmes like Bewitched and The Brady Bunch. You know the ones, the moms wear gingham aprons and whip up a batch of pancakes before 6 a.m. The children sit gleaming at the table while mom flips out the pancakes. Dad comes down in a shirt and tie before popping on his trilby and skipping out of the door. The reality is more like I Love Lucy.
This is how it actually ran.
1. Dad gets up and immediately starts shouting because mom has thrown away his broken glasses and he needs to take them to the optician after work.
2. Dad continues shouting because he cannot find the charger for his electric shaver.
3. Stomps out of house.
4. Returns to the house to pick up forgotten laptop.
5. Mom gets up, strips bed and removes cardboard boxes from bedroom in anticipation of bed delivery later today. (Finally)
6. Children sleep.
7. After failing to work out how to turn TV on bedroom, Mom finally manages to get the TV working in the family room. (Thank God!)
8. Mom manages to locate ingredients for pancake mixture, but realises she has no bowls to mix the batter in.
9. This is not a problem as she also cannot turn cooktop on.
10. Abandons idea of pancakes in favour of toast.
11. No toaster.
12. Has not yet enrolled for the Masters Course entitled: "How to work your electronic oven". Has lost papers for Bachelors Course: "How to switch on your electronic oven."
13. Does manage to open door of microwave. This is the coolest part of the entire house. It is actually a drawer. Everyone loves it. Mom looks inside it lovingly, but closes it again when she realises she cannot make it actually cook anything.
14. Children continue to sleep.