Photo Finished

After six months of writing virtually every day for my own (and I hope your) amusement, I am delighted to say I have finally sold a piece of my writing! Unfortunately the money earned won't even pay for my work visa, but I guess it's a start. On Monday I am to be a guest columnist in the Naperville Sun newspaper. I have been writing in Positively Naperville! for the past three months, but alas that is out of my own goodwill and desperate need for self-publicity.
This afternoon I had to go to the Sun's offices so they could take my photograph. As I suspected, it was hardly a fashion shoot.
I was ushered in to a studio at the rear of the building and introduced to a photographer who looked as if he had been given the afternoon off school for work experience.
"If you could take twenty years off, that would be great," I joked wittily (or so I thought).
"Everyone says that," he replied. "Just stand between these screens and put your feet there."
He pointed to a line marked on the floor. I did as commanded, and then realised I had to turn round completely since I had my back to him.
"I may look better if you take the picture from directly behind the screen," I said.
"Just relax. I'll just take one to test the light."
I smiled benignly.
"And again."
I purred into the camera. I was really getting into this.
"That's it. Thank you. You can leave by this door at the back."
That was it. Three strikes and I was out. Goodness knows what the finished product will look like. I imagine myself a stunning beauty with a cheeky smile. What I'll probably get is a middle aged woman in desperate need of a face lift.