London 2012: What To Expect
Much as I've enjoyed watching the Olympics, everytime I see something about the Chinese culture, I start getting butterflies, and I don't mean to eat. Next time the event will be held in London, and I dread to think what NBC will broadcast to show the 'real' London. Here are a few suggestions:
1. Cooking
The team will visit a greasy chip shop to learn how to deep fry bricks of potato. The batter on the fish will be soggy and Ann Curry will holds her nose as she bravely attempts to eat a pickled hard boiled egg.
2. Transport
The entire Today show will be devoted to how Matt Lauer reaches the Olympic Stadium from Leicester Square station. This is not because it is far away, but because everyone knows you can never catch a Northern line train in the rush hour without having to wait 40 minutes for one only for it to be cancelled as soon as you push your way in. Interviews with disgruntled passengers with sub titles because half don't speak English and the other half are under 25 so you cannot understand what they are saying anyway.
3. History
Queue up outside the Tower of London with 20,000 tourists while Al Roker dresses up like a beefeater, disappointed to learn there's no actual beef eating involved.
4. Shopping
Marvel as Meredith Viera tours Oxford Street, Regent Street and the rest of Central London, only to discover there are only six different shops with multiple branches at each address. Before hand the United States will take part in a telethon so she has enough money to buy a souvenir grenadier guardsman (made in China) whose head falls off when you take him out of the box.
5. Sport
Fortunately the Americans will still be able to watch their atheletes winning every event. However, in a valiant attempt to move higher up the medals table (4th this year, so not bad), Britain will be introducing some new sports. These will include cheese rolling, welly throwing, tossing the caber, dancing round the maypole, morris dancing, moaning about the weather and complaining about the government. Come to think of it, the Yanks may have an advantage with the last one.
1. Cooking
The team will visit a greasy chip shop to learn how to deep fry bricks of potato. The batter on the fish will be soggy and Ann Curry will holds her nose as she bravely attempts to eat a pickled hard boiled egg.
2. Transport
The entire Today show will be devoted to how Matt Lauer reaches the Olympic Stadium from Leicester Square station. This is not because it is far away, but because everyone knows you can never catch a Northern line train in the rush hour without having to wait 40 minutes for one only for it to be cancelled as soon as you push your way in. Interviews with disgruntled passengers with sub titles because half don't speak English and the other half are under 25 so you cannot understand what they are saying anyway.
3. History
Queue up outside the Tower of London with 20,000 tourists while Al Roker dresses up like a beefeater, disappointed to learn there's no actual beef eating involved.
4. Shopping
Marvel as Meredith Viera tours Oxford Street, Regent Street and the rest of Central London, only to discover there are only six different shops with multiple branches at each address. Before hand the United States will take part in a telethon so she has enough money to buy a souvenir grenadier guardsman (made in China) whose head falls off when you take him out of the box.
5. Sport
Fortunately the Americans will still be able to watch their atheletes winning every event. However, in a valiant attempt to move higher up the medals table (4th this year, so not bad), Britain will be introducing some new sports. These will include cheese rolling, welly throwing, tossing the caber, dancing round the maypole, morris dancing, moaning about the weather and complaining about the government. Come to think of it, the Yanks may have an advantage with the last one.
posted by Hilary at
8:54 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home