Live Long and Prosper
We've obviously noticed quite a few differences between the American culture and the British culture since moving to America. Americans speak differently, they drive on the wrong side of the road, (paid the ticket just now, by the way) they actually want to be with their families, that kind of thing.
There's probably even more of difference in the way we practise Judiasm. Services include more English than Hebrew, men and women sit together and musical instruments are sometimes used.
Yesterday we found some interesting differences in the way we mourn. We left our family in England this week to sit shiva for Grumpy's mum. That means her children and sister have to sit on low hard chairs for up to a week receiving visitors wishing to pay their respects. Every evening prayers are led by a rabbi or representative from a mourner's synagogue. Visitors usually bring food for the mourners, and although there is always a table groaning with cakes and biscuits (what would you expect, we're Jews?) we were brought up to believe that you shouldn't eat in a house of shiva because food is only for the mourners.
At the funeral, the mourners' clothes are ripped to signify their grief, they are not meant to wash or shave while sitting shiva and mirrors are covered so a) they cannot see themselves in their grief and b) they shouldn't see the spirit of deceased reflected.
At the end of the prayers when people leave, it is traditional to shake hands and say to the bereaved "I wish you a long life."
Although some of the rituals are the same, many are not. For a start, although the rabbi was there, Grumpy had to lead the service himself. It wasn't that he couldn't do it, just unfortunate he inherited his mother's singing voice, or would have if she had had one.
Certainly around here no one usually uses a shiva chair. Grumpy got some quizzical looks as people arrived when they saw him trying to fit on a tiny chair from the synagogue nursery. Everyone brought food, but only a little was eaten, no doubt because they were confused as to whether they should eat it or not. Apparently in the U.S they are told that they must eat in a house of shiva as a sign that life goes on and food is essential to that.
It was the "long life" thing that really got them. I had people say it to me instead of Grumpy, while others told him to "live long and prosper", which is only appropriate if the mourner is a Trekkie, I'm afraid.
We had about 35 visitors yesterday, with more expected tonight. Very touching considering that we are still comparatively new to this country and were unable to give very much notice.
There's probably even more of difference in the way we practise Judiasm. Services include more English than Hebrew, men and women sit together and musical instruments are sometimes used.
Yesterday we found some interesting differences in the way we mourn. We left our family in England this week to sit shiva for Grumpy's mum. That means her children and sister have to sit on low hard chairs for up to a week receiving visitors wishing to pay their respects. Every evening prayers are led by a rabbi or representative from a mourner's synagogue. Visitors usually bring food for the mourners, and although there is always a table groaning with cakes and biscuits (what would you expect, we're Jews?) we were brought up to believe that you shouldn't eat in a house of shiva because food is only for the mourners.
At the funeral, the mourners' clothes are ripped to signify their grief, they are not meant to wash or shave while sitting shiva and mirrors are covered so a) they cannot see themselves in their grief and b) they shouldn't see the spirit of deceased reflected.
At the end of the prayers when people leave, it is traditional to shake hands and say to the bereaved "I wish you a long life."
Although some of the rituals are the same, many are not. For a start, although the rabbi was there, Grumpy had to lead the service himself. It wasn't that he couldn't do it, just unfortunate he inherited his mother's singing voice, or would have if she had had one.
Certainly around here no one usually uses a shiva chair. Grumpy got some quizzical looks as people arrived when they saw him trying to fit on a tiny chair from the synagogue nursery. Everyone brought food, but only a little was eaten, no doubt because they were confused as to whether they should eat it or not. Apparently in the U.S they are told that they must eat in a house of shiva as a sign that life goes on and food is essential to that.
It was the "long life" thing that really got them. I had people say it to me instead of Grumpy, while others told him to "live long and prosper", which is only appropriate if the mourner is a Trekkie, I'm afraid.
We had about 35 visitors yesterday, with more expected tonight. Very touching considering that we are still comparatively new to this country and were unable to give very much notice.
posted by Hilary at
8:27 AM
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