Hitting the Deck

I was on my best behaviour last night when I picked up my new friend Sue to show her the delights of downtown Naperville. Sue and her family are currently at the same apartment block we started out in. It was so strange going back to show another English newcomer around town. Finally a chance for the self appointed Ambassador of Naperville to get to work.
I had it all planned. A stroll along the Riverwalk, a wander downtown, then dinner at our favourite restaurant. I'd even smartened up a little. Have to put on a good show for these fussy Brits, don't you know? Fortunately a recent thunderstorm had passed, and the sun was beginning to peep out from behind the clouds.
"This is gret," said Sue as we left. Note: to any of you Americans who have trouble understanding my accent, Sue is from Newcastle in the north of England. If I need subtitles, she needs an interpreter!
"Tell ya wot. We yuv foond ah hoose ta rent. We ya soo exzyted. Cooman ave a loook," she said.
The house was close to downtown and indeed very cute, although I had to laugh when I saw she had found the only house in Naperville with an upwardly sloping driveway. Still, ice and snow is a novelty when you have come from Dubai, so I'll let her find that one out for herself.
"Coom rahnd the buck," Sue beckoned as she left out of the car.
We walked around the yard, which was indeed impressive. The house was typically American, with its sidings and wooden deck. (Yes, I know it's ordinary to you, but we're English).
Things were going gret, sorry, great. We were getting on really well. I was the upper class hostess in my new home town.
Then it happened.
"Oo, beya cairful there," Sue warned. "Thea decks a bit slipp..."
THWACK.
I was on the floor for the second time this week.
"I can't go to the hospital again," I wailed.
Sue looked at me like I'd gone insane. When she realized where I'd gone, that was.
She was really concerned for my welfare, at least I imagine she would have been if she could have stopped laughing.
"I'll be ok," I said. "I'll just sit here on this slippery, wet deck for a minute to catch my breath."
We did get to the restaurant eventually. I had mud on my elbow and my backside looked as if I'd been trampled on by a herd of buffalo. Not quite as sophisticated as I would have liked.
Oh, and don't worry about my welfare. I'm fine as long as I don't sit down.