The Musical, Dancing, Golfing Loser

My golf instructor told me today that I hit the golf ball "elegantly". Since I have never been accused of being elegant in my life, it made me wonder if all these hobbies are a bit confusing. Perhaps I play golf like I should be dancing? It may account for the following problems.

I play golf life I should dance.
Good Points: I never tread on anyone else's toes, swing in rhythm and focus on going to the ball.
Bad Points: I count one, two, three around the course, I have a whole in one stocking and ususually end up alone dancing around my golf bag.
I dance like I am at Weight-Watchers.
Good Points: I dance one step at a time, drink diet Tango and only miss a class when I've had too much to eat.
Bad Points: I wear flimsy shorts to dance in, do my own thing then wonder why it doesn't work and ask my instructor: "Are you sure there are no points in salsa?"
I tackle my weight loss like I write.
Good Points: Sometimes I am very successful; when I lose a little weight I look back and realise I need to lose a bit more; it's something which works best alone.
Bad Points: On a bad day, I give up and read a book while eating an entire box of chocolates.
I play the piano like I play golf.
Good Points: I'm good at playing Tee for Two, I have perfect pitch and I'm hoping to start my own swing band.
Bad Points: I always play in sunglasses so I look like Stevie Wonder. Pity I don't play like him.