Things A Travel Writer Should Never Say..

Yesterday I asked Orphan No.1 to help me with some research for an article I will be writing for Naperville Magazine on visiting London.
He came up with some great suggestions, but I had to share this from his friend Paul Ratner....

Day 1: in the morning, start off by going on the London underground, which breaks down due to signal problems; then leave the train and continue by getting into trouble with some hoodies on bmx’s; then walk out of the station into glorious rain; then get shouted at by some hoop-earring wearing, perma-tan chavs; then have lunch at a café that serves traditional British beef, with e-coli; and whilst eating, lament on how we’re being over-run by the CAP and the EU; then watch England play on TV in the afternoon and lose, in a pub which no longer has a happy hour; then watch the news and feel saddened that Gordon Brown isn’t exactly Personality of the Year; then watch some dreary reality TV programme where the viewers get shouted at by gobby Davina McCall; then eat your 5-a-day; then go to bed, alone, with the heater on.