Grillers in the Mist
With only 19 days until the housewarming party we have begun shopping. We have 12 martini glasses, a cocktail shaker and two bottles of cosmopolitan mix. I know how to get my priorities right.
Despite this, I realise we may need one or two more things and yesterday Ross decided it was time to make that most important of purchases, the grill. (English translation: barbecue).
Ross has been fixated with grill shopping since we arrived in the country. He must know every model and every price. (English translation: "This is so much cheaper than it would be in England!") Whether he can actually cook (English translation: burn) anything on one remains doubtful, but we live in hope.
Eventually he decided to buy the Super Advanced Whirlygig Heat Burn and Serve 400 on sale at our local Jewel. (English translation: Tesco)
Unfortunately, by the time he made up his mind, only the floor model was left. The good news, and this will come as no surprise to anyone who has known Ross for more than a minute, was that we got it at a good price. The bad news is that we had to take it away made up.
Everything is bigger and better in America, and that includes the grills. The one Ross chose could support an entire army regiment.
"We'll hire a van," said Ross, undeterred. "I'm sure the people in the shop will help load it on for us."
So we bought the grill, plus a 10 piece set of garden furniture complete with umbrella, and shot round to pick up the van just before the hire place closed.
It must have taken two men about an hour to get the stuff on the van. The pieces fitted like a Chinese puzzle. There wasn't an inch of space left, but eventually it was done. The garden furniture turned out to be an excellent idea. It gave me something to sit on at the kerb, and to be honest, I think I drummed up a few more sales for them as shoppers stopped to admire it.
A word of warning at this point, to our new neighbours. Never, ever, volunteer to do anything. We are so desperate for help we may just ask you. It took our new neighbour John, his son, Buffy's husband and their son to get the grill off the van into the garage and the garden set into the shed.
I should remind you that we are having just a little work done to the house, so the garage is already full of builders' materials and the old kitchen appliances.
It took barely another hour for John and Ross to bolt the lid onto the grill, but then there was another problem. One of the garden chairs was missing a screw, which made it unuseable. Everyone in this country seems to be an expert on something, and as luck would have it, Buffy's husband actually imports screws for a living.
"You just need an MI5", he said. (Or something like that). "You can get one at the local hardware store."
This turned out to be true. Unfortunately the old screw had broken off in the chair itself, so we had to load it into my car (which you may remember is not much bigger than a Smart car) for me to return tomorrow.
"You know now we have the van, we should get some more things we need," I said. "We could get the other chairs and tables we need from K Mart."
We must have looked like burglars in reverse as we piled things into the shed in the dead of night, running up and down the garden with a flashlight. (English translation: torch). It even turned out the manager of the store, astonished anyone would need so much garden furnture, grew up in the same road as I did back in England. What fun we had catching up on Wembley life as Ross struggled to get everything in the back of the van!
So we now have a half finished house with an interior that resembles a snowglobe (English translation: snow shaker). We have a live band to play on the deck, except it isn't built yet and there is no door to get out onto it anyway. We have seating, tables and a grill, but no kitchen to prepare the food. We have paint trodden all over the floors and the yard (English translation: garden), but none as yet on the walls. Fortunately I have a team of friends and family coming to help, but nowhere for them to sleep. This could be the first housewarming in history, which takes place in somebody else's house! Now that's some help we could use........
Despite this, I realise we may need one or two more things and yesterday Ross decided it was time to make that most important of purchases, the grill. (English translation: barbecue).
Ross has been fixated with grill shopping since we arrived in the country. He must know every model and every price. (English translation: "This is so much cheaper than it would be in England!") Whether he can actually cook (English translation: burn) anything on one remains doubtful, but we live in hope.
Eventually he decided to buy the Super Advanced Whirlygig Heat Burn and Serve 400 on sale at our local Jewel. (English translation: Tesco)
Unfortunately, by the time he made up his mind, only the floor model was left. The good news, and this will come as no surprise to anyone who has known Ross for more than a minute, was that we got it at a good price. The bad news is that we had to take it away made up.
Everything is bigger and better in America, and that includes the grills. The one Ross chose could support an entire army regiment.
"We'll hire a van," said Ross, undeterred. "I'm sure the people in the shop will help load it on for us."
So we bought the grill, plus a 10 piece set of garden furniture complete with umbrella, and shot round to pick up the van just before the hire place closed.
It must have taken two men about an hour to get the stuff on the van. The pieces fitted like a Chinese puzzle. There wasn't an inch of space left, but eventually it was done. The garden furniture turned out to be an excellent idea. It gave me something to sit on at the kerb, and to be honest, I think I drummed up a few more sales for them as shoppers stopped to admire it.
A word of warning at this point, to our new neighbours. Never, ever, volunteer to do anything. We are so desperate for help we may just ask you. It took our new neighbour John, his son, Buffy's husband and their son to get the grill off the van into the garage and the garden set into the shed.
I should remind you that we are having just a little work done to the house, so the garage is already full of builders' materials and the old kitchen appliances.
It took barely another hour for John and Ross to bolt the lid onto the grill, but then there was another problem. One of the garden chairs was missing a screw, which made it unuseable. Everyone in this country seems to be an expert on something, and as luck would have it, Buffy's husband actually imports screws for a living.
"You just need an MI5", he said. (Or something like that). "You can get one at the local hardware store."
This turned out to be true. Unfortunately the old screw had broken off in the chair itself, so we had to load it into my car (which you may remember is not much bigger than a Smart car) for me to return tomorrow.
"You know now we have the van, we should get some more things we need," I said. "We could get the other chairs and tables we need from K Mart."
We must have looked like burglars in reverse as we piled things into the shed in the dead of night, running up and down the garden with a flashlight. (English translation: torch). It even turned out the manager of the store, astonished anyone would need so much garden furnture, grew up in the same road as I did back in England. What fun we had catching up on Wembley life as Ross struggled to get everything in the back of the van!
So we now have a half finished house with an interior that resembles a snowglobe (English translation: snow shaker). We have a live band to play on the deck, except it isn't built yet and there is no door to get out onto it anyway. We have seating, tables and a grill, but no kitchen to prepare the food. We have paint trodden all over the floors and the yard (English translation: garden), but none as yet on the walls. Fortunately I have a team of friends and family coming to help, but nowhere for them to sleep. This could be the first housewarming in history, which takes place in somebody else's house! Now that's some help we could use........
posted by Hilary at
6:05 AM
2 Comments:
The garden furniture turned out to be an excellent idea. It gave me something to sit on at the KERB, and
*****
Were you sitting on the car to add to it's weight?
By
Anonymous, at 1:00 PM
In case you were confused, kerb is the British, and therefore the proper way, to spell curb. We only curb our enthusiasm, especially when we read comments like this!
By
Anonymous, at 1:50 PM
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