Living the American Dream: April 2008

Fun and Games

These Americans certainly know how to party! This weekend our neighbo(u)r Chuck celebrated his 50th birthday with children's games..

What goes up...

..must come down.

Chuck tries his hand at pinning the tail on the donkey

I try to cheat by keeping my glasses on. I don't think anyone noticed...

..especially as it didn't improve my aim

John shows a little too much pride in his prize - a packet of seeds!

Three of our lovely neighbors, Sharon, Maureen and Pat

Make a wish..

There were also team games in the garden, where once again the Brits were beaten to a pulp by the Yanks, just like the Olympics. For more on that, you'll need to watch out for a forthcoming column in the Naperville Sun.

Spring Fever

Spring is not something to be taken for granted when you've endured winter for what feels like the past 17 years straight. Seemingly overnight, the grass has turned green, the leaves are budding and the skies are blue. Here is our very first tulip of the season, with more following any moment now. Temperatures are in the mid to high 70s. Beautiful exotic birds are arriving by the plane load, singing their little heads off as they go about their daily routine once again. The Riverwalk is buzzing with children feeding ducks, and suited businessmen taking time out to smell the flowers. Neighbours are out in the streets once more, almost ready to burst into song as they throw open their windows. The hum of lawn mowers fills the air.
Of course what this really means is that we'll be off to the garden centre any minute to stock the car with shrubs we don't have the energy to plant. Every leaf that blooms is just one more to add to the moutain that appears on the ground in the autumn. The weeds will strangle any flowers we do have, and it will be only be a week before it's too hot to sit outside.

Paper Chef

This morning Grumpy decided to treat our guests to a traditional Passover dish - matzo brei.

All you need is matzos soaked in water and eggs. Look carefully. How does he do it?

Watch out Iron Chef Bobby Flay...

Now if I could just get it out of the pan, it would be great

Back On The Tourist Trail

Grumpy, gbf 2 and gbf 1 prepare to set sail on Lake Michigan

Me and my boys

This is a supposed to be a tour of the skyline. I think I'm on the wrong side of the boat!

That's better.

After such a long winter, it was great to really feel summer is on the way.

The best table in town - at the top of the John Hancock

The photographer of this picture was sitting at the table next to us. She said she loved the gbf's accent. It was the first time someone near us has said that to another American, and not us! Surely we can't have lost our British accents already?

A Man Walks Into A Bar......

My gbf is known for his immaculate dress sense. This is a man who likes to dress up. He'll wear a suit to the grocery store, a tie to go bowling..you get the picture.
However, as we trotted around Chicago yesterday, he decided to go casual. He and gbf 2 spent an hour discussing what to wear before leaving the house (we forgo one particular bar because neither could be bothered to change shoes in the middle of the day).
Anyhow, we ended the day with a visit to a very traditional piano bar in the centre of the city, the Redhead.
We were met at the door, somewhat ironically, by a door man in a black jacket four sizes too large for him.
"A warm welcome to the Redhead. You can't come in, you're not dressed correctly!"
We looked at each other. Jeans and a jacket were ok, but not t shirts or ripped jeans. The gbf was wearing a very fetching t shirt with a somewhat risque cartoon of Betty and Wilma from the Flintstones, and jeans that were ripped even before he dropped my glass on them on the top of the John Hancock.
The gbf was mortified.
"But you should see how I normally dress," he insisted. "I wore a suit for the seder!"
The doorman seemed surprisingly unimpressed.
"Here, borrow my jacket," said gbf 2.
"Ok," the doorman relented. "If you wear the jacket I'll waive the ripped jeans. Just keep your legs under the bar."
The bar was so dark it wouldn't have mattered if we'd have all been in tank tops and shorts. As the gbf sulked into his martini, we relaxed and waited for the music to begin.
Although they tried their best to enjoy it, the evening had been marred. However, speaking for myself, two cocktails and 17 songs later, I was the host of my own private party.

Queer Eye for the Chubby Guy

Every guest at the Hotel Decent is different, but one thing they all seem to enjoy is shopping. So yesterday we went off into Chicago yet again to show the town to the gbf's gbf who has never been there before.
Gbf 2 works for Erno Lazlo in Sak's Fifth Avenue, so he is no stranger to shopping.
"I really don't need to go shopping here, I can do it at home," he insisted as we started to walk the Magnificent Mile. "Mind you, I might just nip into Nordstrom's while I'm here."
"I'll give an hour before he's out," I whispered to Grumpy.
Of course Kenneth Cole was having one of there fabulous sales, so we just had to nip in there too.
The gbf's wasted no time in gathering up clothes to try on. Boy, can the gbf 2 give Orphan No 2 a run for her money (or should I say our money?)
"This would be a good time to get some expert advice," I said to Grumpy. "With two gay men to help you, you could get some really nice stuff."
Unfortunately the designer sizes weren't quite right for him, but for someone who didn't need to shop, gbf 2 came away with six shirts and a jacket. Probably explains why he bought two large cases for a weekend visit...

Seder Story

Our first seder in Naperville was a spectacular success. We had 21 guests, most of whom weren't Jewish, but interested to learn how we commemorate Passover. Of course we missed our relatives and friends back home, but we were delighted to celebrate with our new extended family.

Venus and Lex help with the ceremonial handwashing.

"More washing, I haven't had my hands out of the sink all day!" exclaims the gbf.

At last Grumpy can teach the Oracle something!

As the youngest Jewish male present, Lex reads the Manish tana.

Nancy discovers sticking your little finger in the wine can almost be as much fun as drinking it, as we remember the plagues.

A little realism as a plague of frogs leap onto the table.

The gbf and Bif hard at work in the kitchen.

Bif's brisket was a highlight of the evening.

"So, why is this night different from all others?"

A magnificent dessert buffet. Funny how all my friends are in catering...

The boys hunt for the Afikomen

(a symbolic piece of matzo)

Passover the Festival

The gbf and the gbf's gbf had barely stepped off the plane when I set them to work in the kitchen.

"What kind of hotel is this? I've never had to cook my own evening meal in one before."

Of course I did all the hard work - setting the tables.

Here and There

In the US I am.. turquoise
In the UK I am..blue

US: a bucketload of lasagne
UK: a spoonful of pureed potato decorated with a shard of asparagus

US: Free
UK: Shackled

US: Exhuberant
UK: Calm

US: Risk taker
UK: Cautious

US: Growing old disgracefully
UK: Responsible

US: A firecracker
UK: A smouldering match

US: Salsa
UK: Waltz

US: Unusual
UK: English

US: A big fish in a small pond
UK: A small fish washed up on a small island

US: A celebrity (well, working on it anyhow)
UK: Who?

US: A musician
UK: Someone who can work an mp3 player (nearly)

US: Inspired
UK: Stiffled

US: Inspirational
UK: Disapproved of

US: A leader
UK: Eccentric

US: A golfer
UK: Sport, are you nuts?

US: A dancer
UK: Two left feet

US: My dress size is smaller even though I am bigger
UK: Mydress size was smaller even when I was bigger

US: I am home
UK: The other man's grass is always greener

UK: Someone's mother, someone's daughter, someone's wife
US: Me

Blasts From My Past

One thing I notice about living in a new country is that I have no personal history here. When people talk about the old mom and pop stores in Naperville, or what they used to watch on TV, I don't usually know what they are talking about. This is particularly noticeable in Crackerbarrel, where the shelves are lined with old fashioned toys and foods that I can only wonder about.

So it was fun back in England to find two things being brought back from my own past. The first was the reprinted version of the Janet and John books. I have often thought about them, since I know two couples here with the same name. Janet and John were the equivalent of Dick and Jane in the 1950s and 60s. They are what I used in primary school to learn to read.

In the airport, I was equally thrilled to see a row of 1960s Sindy dolls. Sindy was the slightly more proper and very British version of Barbie. I can remember going on my very first flight, aged 9, to Italy, with my air hostess Sindy in tow. She wore a BOAC uniform and carried a little flight bag complete with passenger list, rather like the one pictured above. The only difference was my Sindy was brunette, although she became blonde after a horrible accident in which her neck split open and Pedigree sent me a replacement head with the wrong colour hair.

The Decents Have Landed

We got back safe and sound, but of course are already onto our next project - preparing to celebrate Passover with a seder feast for 22 and the latest set of guests flying in tomorrow evening!
Will update when I can, don't want to get in the way of my European Servant cleaning my computer!

Goodbye to Old Blighty

Who says British food is no good? Here we are enjoying one more final meal at our airport hotel - we're heading back to the U.S. tomorrow.

Although it's been great seeing all our old friends and family, there's no place like home!

A Brush With Royal Tea

We took time out this afternoon to visit Windsor, one of the Queen's residences. Naturally there were American tourists everywhere...Not sure what this one was looking for.

It's good to know I'm a citizen somewhere. Here's the proof.

When the royal standard is flying like this, it means the Queen is in residence

Tea anyone?

This is the town hall where Prince Charles married Camilla Parker Bowles

This is the nearest I got to seeing the Queen I'm afraid.

Windsor Castle

Workers Unite

The library at the University of Hertfordshire.

See below as to why this is the only photo!

We used the trip as an opportunity to catch up with former work colleagues. It was fun, but neither visit went quite as planned.

We started off at the University of Hertfordshire, where I used to be an English as a Foreign Language lecturer. I had carefully arranged the timing with my former boss, who explained there would be a meeting mid-morning, but if I came at 10 o'clock it would be fine.

Not having seen them for over a year, I was naturally very excited, but not prepared for what actually happened.

As I walked in the staff room, everyone in the department was there, seated round the table.

"Hilary!" they exclaimed.

I was thrilled. All the joy of work without actually having to do any! But my delight was short lived.

"Sorry, I got the time wrong," said Jenny, pushing me out of the door. "No time."

So I travelled 3,000 miles literally for a "hallo". That was all.

Next stop was a lovely Chinese lunch with Grumpy's former boss Shirley, the one who helped so much in our transfer to the U.S.

This was much better, excepting she had forgotten her wallet, so we ended up having to pay for her. It was delicious, but even by English standards quite expensive.

"I'll get myself a bad name,"she laughed. "Us Scots are always said to be mean, in fact they say we hurt our heads rushing to pick up a coin before it lands on the floor. I'll never live this down!"

Not now she won't.....