Animal Critters In The Soup
In Britain, red squirrels are an endangered species. If they used to behave in Britain the way they do here, then I have no sympathy. When we first arrived in the U.S I was thrilled to see one skipping about in our yard.
"Oo look," I gushed. "A real red squirrel. And chipmunks. It's like a scene out of Bambi!"
The novelty began to wear off when I realised we didn't have one lively pet squirrel, but about 250 of them. I got really annoyed when we filled up a bird feeder only to see a very fat furry fiend filling up his shopping cart with the contents and scurrying off at speed to sell it to his mates.
But now it's war. Let me explain. With autumn beginning it was time to reorganise my front yard. (Roughly translated, that means buy a couple of chrysanthemums and dig out the little autumnal characters I bought in a craft store last year when I was desperately trying to be accepted by Naperville society).
I decided to buy some decorative gourds to surround the little figures at either side of the front door. Once I had done that, I dead headed the hydrangea and felt I had put in a full morning's yard work as they call it here.
I went out, looking back to admire my handiwork, which was very cute if I say so myself. But when I returned I found the gourds scattered everywhere.
"Must be those pesky critters," I grumbled to myself in my best Elmer Fudd voice. "Still, they obviously couldn't lift them, so at least they're safe."
This morning I went out again. All but two of the gourds were gone. No signs of any vandalism, but knowing Naperville as I do, the neighbours are more likely to break in and redecorate your home than steal anything off the front porch.
I tidied up, went out and came back an hour or so later.
This time only one gourd remained, and one of the figures was felled as if he had been mugged!
"Ok, I know you're there somewhere!" I shouted, looking around.
True enough there was a squirrel and a chipmunk whistling in front of the porch as though peanut butter wouldn't melt in their mouths.
I guess for now at least they've won. I'm done with providing them with gourmet gourds. All I can say is they'd better watch out when I Halloweenize the front of the house next month....
"Oo look," I gushed. "A real red squirrel. And chipmunks. It's like a scene out of Bambi!"
The novelty began to wear off when I realised we didn't have one lively pet squirrel, but about 250 of them. I got really annoyed when we filled up a bird feeder only to see a very fat furry fiend filling up his shopping cart with the contents and scurrying off at speed to sell it to his mates.
But now it's war. Let me explain. With autumn beginning it was time to reorganise my front yard. (Roughly translated, that means buy a couple of chrysanthemums and dig out the little autumnal characters I bought in a craft store last year when I was desperately trying to be accepted by Naperville society).
I decided to buy some decorative gourds to surround the little figures at either side of the front door. Once I had done that, I dead headed the hydrangea and felt I had put in a full morning's yard work as they call it here.
I went out, looking back to admire my handiwork, which was very cute if I say so myself. But when I returned I found the gourds scattered everywhere.
"Must be those pesky critters," I grumbled to myself in my best Elmer Fudd voice. "Still, they obviously couldn't lift them, so at least they're safe."
This morning I went out again. All but two of the gourds were gone. No signs of any vandalism, but knowing Naperville as I do, the neighbours are more likely to break in and redecorate your home than steal anything off the front porch.
I tidied up, went out and came back an hour or so later.
This time only one gourd remained, and one of the figures was felled as if he had been mugged!
"Ok, I know you're there somewhere!" I shouted, looking around.
True enough there was a squirrel and a chipmunk whistling in front of the porch as though peanut butter wouldn't melt in their mouths.
I guess for now at least they've won. I'm done with providing them with gourmet gourds. All I can say is they'd better watch out when I Halloweenize the front of the house next month....
posted by Hilary at
11:26 AM
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