Holy Neuteronomy! in Pictures

In the beginning I created the creation ballet. Since it was meant to be done deliberately badly by an amateur company, the cast had no problem...
The scene finishes with an appearence by Adam and Eve, who tried to tempt him with a banana after he rejected the apple.

We then discover the ballet is part of an amateur show. Next we meet the members of the cast auditioning to take part. They include a magician...

A ventriloquist who has lost is dummy so has to make do with Mimi the mime artist..

and the star of the show, a precocious brat called Melody Ann.

Once the auditions are over, its back to the show they are putting on. A mixed up mess of bible stories, hence the title, Holy Neuteonomy! The next part of the story is Noah's Ark.

Never alone with his Blackberry, the show is run by the assistant director, a high school football coach. He treats everyone like they are on the football field. He is assisted by the producer and the main director who is a neurotic mess. He doesn't know what he's doing, so everyone has to step in to get things together in spite of him. I based this part on myself, with only a little exaggeration required on the part of the actor playing me!

The cast of the show within the show (hope you're keeping up) all aspired to be like the Diva, the only one in the show with any real talent.

Hamson the Pig gave Samson and King David a hand, or should that be a trotter, as the bible stories became more confused. No animals were hurt in the production of this show, although most required counselling afterwards.

Being a Purim spiel, Queen Esther had her own song, The Hamentash Waltz, complete with some dancing from our stars.

Hilary, a serious actress, found herself in trouble when she had to play baby Moses. Here she is being fought over by King David and Goliath.

"You may be nine feet tall, but you don't scare me," says David to a five-year-old.

At the cast stop arguing and realize although they may struggle alone, together they are a force to be reckoned with. God, who is of course female, joins the coach, director and producer in the final number Better Together.

And finally, the author makes an emotional speech as she receives an award. After practising from the age of seven with a real Oscar, she is fully prepared for the night she wins a bottle of shampoo! Thanks for the inspiration Kate!

Holy Neuteronomy! will be screened in a few weeks time on NCTV. Non locals will be able to see it streamed on the internet, so I'll let you know when its ready.

A huge thanks to all concerned. As regular readers will know, I always give other people blog names to protect myself from lawsuits. But today I want to give credit to my partner Mrs Hammerstein. She's actually called Gail Sondheim (sorry, Sonkin).

Thanks also to Elaine Rest for the photos.