Cold Comfort

The temperature is currently -5F/-21C.
"What's that like?" asked Orphan No. 1 back in England when I told him.
It's like this. It's like your heavy English overcoat is as effective as a gossamer shawl. It's like you have to put on a thick anorak, thermal gloves and a hat just to retrieve the newspaper from the end of the drive. (Why they don't have letter boxes in the front door like other civilised countries, I don't know). It's like I can get through a night without having a hot flush, even with the heating on. (Well, very nearly). It's like there are icicles hanging off our new car, which typically has to be outside of the garage until the door is fixed.
Now before Americans, by which I mean our friend The Oracle, start commenting, I know this is Chicagoland in the winter. I know this is probably quite mild by your standards. But fortunately, I also know one other thing. The weather here is nothing if not changeable. So despite the cold I am cleaning off my patio furniture and ironing my shorts. Knowing the area as I have come to, I daresay we'll be complaining about the heat tomorrow.