I'm No Celeb Day 3
Scene: A forest preserve in deepest Warrenville. Four 'celebrities' are hanging by their hands from a rope strung between two trees.
Grumpy: I can't hold on much longer. These tasks are ridiculous. But if I let go I'll fall into that crocodile infested pool below us.
Hyacinth: Crocodiles? In Illinois? The only Crocs here are my shoes.
The Duchess: Stop moaning. Let's keep our spirits up by singing. All together now. (sings) Land of hope and glory, mother of the free...
Hyacinth: Where's Hilary? She hasn't taken part in one challenge yet. All she ever does is moan she has bronchitis. Don't believe it myself. She doesn't even look pale.
The Duchess: That's because she always wears an inch of make up.
Jett: Hey, you leave her alone. She always says nice things about me. (Stops to admire his handsome reflection in the pool below).
Enter Hilary, stretching and yawning.
Hilary: That was a refreshing nap. Why are you lot hanging around?
Grumpy: It's a challenge. The last one to fall wins immunity this week.
Hilary: Immunity? Why on earth would you want that? I can't wait to get out of this horrible place. Look what those plants have done to my pantyhose! They're ruined. I don't know how much more of this I can take! I've been a celebrity for two days now. Don't people realize how important I am? I was promised I'd be put up in the Hotel Arista every night when the cameras stopped rolling.
Jett: There, there, calm down my dear. It's fine. I'll build you your own tree house.
Hilary (sobbing): W..w...with my own bathroom?
Jett: Of course. And if you stay here long enough I'll even throw in a basement! Hey Grumpy?
Grumpy: What? Do you want me to give you a hand?
Jett: No, just your money...
Grumpy: I can't hold on much longer. These tasks are ridiculous. But if I let go I'll fall into that crocodile infested pool below us.
Hyacinth: Crocodiles? In Illinois? The only Crocs here are my shoes.
The Duchess: Stop moaning. Let's keep our spirits up by singing. All together now. (sings) Land of hope and glory, mother of the free...
Hyacinth: Where's Hilary? She hasn't taken part in one challenge yet. All she ever does is moan she has bronchitis. Don't believe it myself. She doesn't even look pale.
The Duchess: That's because she always wears an inch of make up.
Jett: Hey, you leave her alone. She always says nice things about me. (Stops to admire his handsome reflection in the pool below).
Enter Hilary, stretching and yawning.
Hilary: That was a refreshing nap. Why are you lot hanging around?
Grumpy: It's a challenge. The last one to fall wins immunity this week.
Hilary: Immunity? Why on earth would you want that? I can't wait to get out of this horrible place. Look what those plants have done to my pantyhose! They're ruined. I don't know how much more of this I can take! I've been a celebrity for two days now. Don't people realize how important I am? I was promised I'd be put up in the Hotel Arista every night when the cameras stopped rolling.
Jett: There, there, calm down my dear. It's fine. I'll build you your own tree house.
Hilary (sobbing): W..w...with my own bathroom?
Jett: Of course. And if you stay here long enough I'll even throw in a basement! Hey Grumpy?
Grumpy: What? Do you want me to give you a hand?
Jett: No, just your money...
posted by Hilary at
9:55 PM
2 Comments:
Good writing. This would serve as a great novel.
By
Anonymous, at 10:24 PM
Suddenly, Hilary gets a text message..."Rebecca and I could really use a spa day...complete with manicure, pedicure and massage. Join us at the Hotel Arista. I heard they are having a special offering complimentary martinis!"
By
Anonymous, at 9:23 AM
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