Time Lords

This morning we crossed the border to visit our neighbours in Wheaton. There was great excitement as they unveiled the contents of a time capsule buried 50 years ago to celebrate the town's centenary. In Naperville, we celebrated our centennial by building a beach and outdoor pool, but each to his own.

The Mayor of Wheaton, Michael Gresk, got proceedings under way by addressing the excited crowds.

"Hey girls, they won't mind if we practise here, will they?" Mrs Hammerstein and members of the Wheaton Town Band.

"Cool....Can I have a go?"

So what did the former residents of Wheaton put in their time capsule?

A photo of the Brothers of the Bush. The townsmen celebrated their centennial by growing beards, just like their forefathers. They then got rid of them in a giant shave off.

There were letters from companies of the day, plus some personal ones which were passed on to descendents still living in the town.

Some tickets for the centennial celebrations and some newspapers.

Just one casualty: a commemorative plate which didn't survive the trip across the years intact.

There was also a bible from Wheaton Bible College and this guidebook - Living for Jesus in the space age.

Happy Christmas!

Don't panic, after all there are still 182 shopping days left to Christmas (I know because I just counted them all), it's just here in Naperville we celebrated yesterday. It happened in Central Park, where the Municipal Band decided that Christmas shouldn't come but once a year, but twice. So on a hot June evening me and a 1,000 or so of my closest friends, sat sweltering as we listening to all those jolly tunes we'll be sick of by December 27th.
There was a Christmas tree and even a visit from Mr and Mrs Claus aka Mayor Pradel and his wife. The children in the crowd were so surprised, a couple of them ran on stage for an impromptu hug. Hope he wasn't sweating in his thick red suit as much as we were in the audience!
All in all a fun evening, but it did make me think of a few reasons why Christmas is best left to the winter.

1. It's not cute to have a bucket of water with a hat and scarf around it on your front lawn.
2. Blueberries do not make a good decorating substitute for holly berries.
3. Ice skating on the pond is an extreme sport.
4. Mulled wine goes off in the heat.
5. No one wants sun tan lotion and shorts for a Christmas present.
6. Beach scenes make lousy Christmas cards.
7. You have to fit wheels onto your sled.
8. No one will see your Christmas lights in the lighter evenings.
9. Palms aren't good substitutes for Christmas trees unless you have 60ft ceilings in your house.
10. Summer isn't the season to be jolly.

Omnia: The Naperville Story Continues

Once upon a time there was a sleepy little town called Naperville. It's people were always bright and smiley, and there was nothing they couldn't do. Naperville was a lovely place to live, but there was one problem. The river that ran through it's downtown area was ugly.
"Naperville is such a pretty place, it's a shame that we have such an ugly river," they said. So they banded together and came up with an idea. They decided to change the ugly area into a beautiful one. Planners designed a wonderful river walk and the people of Naperville joined forces to make sure it was the most beautiful place you ever did see. They laid tiny bricks one by one to make a path. They put in twinkling fountains and covered bridges. People came to admire the Riverwalk from as far away as London, England, and exotic Dubai (largely due to my own personal efforts, I may add).
Thirty years went by. Naperville was no longer a sleepy little town. It was a city. It's people were still bright and smiley (even with a heat index today of 105 degrees). Naperville was an even lovelier place to live, but there was one new problem.
The Fifth Avenue car park by Naperville Station was ugly.
"Naperville is such a pretty place, it's a shame that we have such an ugly station car lot," they said. "It's also a shame that the land contains a preserved building which makes any new construction around it difficult. It's even more of a shame we don't have enough parking for all our commuters."
So they decided to change the ugly area into a beautiful one. A group of Napervillians (including many who built the Riverwalk) came together and thought up a wonderful idea.
"We can turn the area into a new jewel in Naperville's crown," said the head of the cliche committee. "We'll have mixed housing, shops, restaurants, parking garages and best of all a 2,700 seat theater where Broadway shows will be mounted. We'll call the project Omnia - for all."
Now not everyone in Naperville was pleased about this. They worried about increased traffic, possible taxes on residents and how higher building structures would spoil the view of the railroad tracks. The City of Naperville was worried too. They had their own plan, but that was just for improved parking.
But the people of Omnia were not deterred.
"Naperville is a visionary place," they said. "We have to look to the future. This theater is exactly what we need. Plus all the new housing will pay for it with a TIF." (No, I can't begin to explain what a TIF is, you'll have to Google it I'm afraid).
So the battle of Omnia continues. If you'd like to find out more about it and lodge comments, visit www.omniaarts.org.
I for one hope it has a fairy tale ending. It's only what I would expect in magical town like Naperville. A town where a few old timers can come together to not only put on a show in a barn, but who can build a state of the art 'barn' and solve half the city's problems at the same time.

Summertime Blues

I doubt I'll ever get used to the Chicagoland weather. Last week were we all complaining about how there was so much rain that we doubted we'd ever see summer - today it's 95 degrees and we're still in June. Although it's often either too cold or too hot here (rarely just right), I have noticed a few similarities.

1. You have to make a run from your car into the stores. Too slow in winter and you'll get frostbite, too slow in summer and you'll get burnt.

2. Spend as little time as possible outdoors. Fortunately the other end of heating is air conditioning. There's rarely a day when you don't need one or the other.

3. Never go out without a hat. A thick woolly one with ear pieces in the winter, a wide brimmed one in the summer.

4. The garden is a nightmare all year round. Inches of snow to clear in the winter, grass to mow in the summer. To make matters even worse, I currently have tiny maple trees growing in my gutters thanks to the billions of seeds that have blown off the tree in front of our house.

Still, I'm not really complaining. Coming from a land where its often grey and rainy, I'll take living in technicolor any day of the year.

Wedding Crashers

Today we attended our first American church wedding. The bride is someone our kids have befriended on visits here, so since they couldn't make it over for her big day, the least we could do was attend and enjoy ourselves in their place. (Don't ever say we still don't do whatever we can for our children despite living 3,000 miles apart!) The venue was the magnificent SS Peter and Paul Church in downtown Naperville. Despite having suffered terrible storms all week, the sun shone all day as the temperatures rose.

Here comes the bridesmaid....

..and here come some more.

The excited bride, Andrea, with her proud dad.

Keeping it all in the family, Andre and TJ were married by the bride's uncle.

Somethings are the same the world over. Every dances to the YMCA. Do you know they still do the Birdie Song and the Hokey Cokey too, although over here it's the Chicken Dance and the Hokey Pokey? (We decided to sit those out).

Let them eat cake - a chocolately cream confection was cut up for dessert.

At the end of the evening, we discovered we shared something in common with the newlyweds. They are going to Disneyland, California for their honeymoon. We did the same thing 28 years ago. Of course then Donald was still a chick....

Writer's Block?

Hope you can read this ok. It's just I'm blogging on my tiny netbook computer in Caribou, a local coffee shop. The whole computer is no bigger than a book, the keys are smaller and so somehow everything seems tinier. So why am I writing out in the field? Not because I couldn't escape from the forest preserve, but because we had no Internet at home - AGAIN!
It all started yesterday when Grumpy decided we'd get a much better deal if we swapped Internet providers. After spending the day going back and forth between the two, he decided to stay with the original ones but on a different package. In order to switch packages, they had to re-operate the doodiddlywingwang and voila! no bloody Internet!
"Sorry, we do often have a problem with that," said call center guy. "We can get someone round to fix it by Thursday."
Grumpy complained since it was all their fault, they should come round sooner, then the battery ran out on his cell phone, no land line without Internet...too boring and complicated to go into.
So now I'm back again working from the nearest coffee house. If it goes on too long, I may actually have to visit all my Facebook friends personally. Wow, there's a thought...

Day 142: Are You Sure We're Celebrities?

Grumpy: Mornin' all.
The Duchess: What do you mean morning? We've been up for hours.
Grumpy(stretching): Sorry, but there's so little to do here, all there is to do is sleep.
Jett (struggling into the clearing under a huge pile of firewood): That's because I'm doing all the work!
Hyacinth: Coo eee. Breakfast is ready. Come and get it.
The Duchess: Ugh! To think you Yanks go on about British food. What on earth is that?
Hyacinth: Grasshopper fricasee.
The Duchess: And I thought Toad In The Hole was bad!
Hyacinth: It's a challenge. We have to eat bugs to keep the ratings going.
The Duchess: You can say that again. How I miss my skimmed lattes.
Grumpy: We're only in a forest preserve in Warrenville. There must be a Starbucks nearby. One of us could make a run for it.
Venus (dashing in in a tennis outfit with racket made out of twigs): I could do it! Let me! Let me!
(She rushes off).
A rustling in heard in the bushes. Enter Hilary in black suit with teal T shirt and scarf, black kitten heels and full make-up.
Hilary: I don't want to worry you all, but I think something may be up!
Jett finishes off building the fire. The firewood is a neat pyramid surrounded by a granite fireplace.
Jett: What's that, m'dear?
Hilary: Well have you noticed we're all still here. Some one is meant to be voted off by the public once a week.
Jett: That's true. And we haven't seen those presenters for a while either, Dolly McCarthy and Mayor Pradel.
The Duchess: Come to think of it, I haven't noticed a cameraman either..
Hyacinth: You know what this means??
Grumpy, Jett, Hyacinth, The Duchess: That no one is watching because we're not real celebrities at all!!
Hilary: You speak for yourselves....

I'm No Celeb Day 3

Scene: A forest preserve in deepest Warrenville. Four 'celebrities' are hanging by their hands from a rope strung between two trees.

Grumpy: I can't hold on much longer. These tasks are ridiculous. But if I let go I'll fall into that crocodile infested pool below us.
Hyacinth: Crocodiles? In Illinois? The only Crocs here are my shoes.
The Duchess: Stop moaning. Let's keep our spirits up by singing. All together now. (sings) Land of hope and glory, mother of the free...
Hyacinth: Where's Hilary? She hasn't taken part in one challenge yet. All she ever does is moan she has bronchitis. Don't believe it myself. She doesn't even look pale.
The Duchess: That's because she always wears an inch of make up.
Jett: Hey, you leave her alone. She always says nice things about me. (Stops to admire his handsome reflection in the pool below).
Enter Hilary, stretching and yawning.
Hilary: That was a refreshing nap. Why are you lot hanging around?
Grumpy: It's a challenge. The last one to fall wins immunity this week.
Hilary: Immunity? Why on earth would you want that? I can't wait to get out of this horrible place. Look what those plants have done to my pantyhose! They're ruined. I don't know how much more of this I can take! I've been a celebrity for two days now. Don't people realize how important I am? I was promised I'd be put up in the Hotel Arista every night when the cameras stopped rolling.
Jett: There, there, calm down my dear. It's fine. I'll build you your own tree house.
Hilary (sobbing): W..w...with my own bathroom?
Jett: Of course. And if you stay here long enough I'll even throw in a basement! Hey Grumpy?
Grumpy: What? Do you want me to give you a hand?
Jett: No, just your money...

I'm No Celeb: Day 2

Deep in the forest preserve something stirs....

Grumpy: Ok, I've just been given today's challenge.
Hyacinth: Oh goody. I need something to do. What is it? Are we going to dredge a rusty chest through the undergrowth?
The Duchess: See how many Danish pastries we can carry back from Panera?
Jett: See how much we can win at jungle poker?
Grumpy: No. We have to see how long we can laze around doing absolutely nothing.
The Duchess: You're making that up aren't you?
Grumpy: Ok. But we'd have more success at that than what we really have to do.
Jett (from his tree house): Get on with it man. I have to get this roof on before nightfall.
Grumpy: We have to choose one person to spend the night on their own, right away from the forest preserve. They'll be taken out in a helicopter then dropped at this horrible place. If they survive the night, they'll win us six stars and be given immunity for a week.
Hyacinth: Sounds scary. Wh..wh..what is the terrible place?
Grumpy: The Holiday Inn, Naperville!
Jett: Six stars? Surely it only has three?
To be continued....

Don't Chrysler Me, Fiat Dealer

I see that the Italian motor company Fiat has just bought American giant Chrysler. Here's what to expect:

All Chryslers will be no bigger than a turtle. The Town and Country will be renamed the Citta e Campagna. It will still seat eight comfortably as long as they all sit on the driver's lap.

All new Chrysler cars will be given single Italian names. Look out for the Chrysler Pizza (available with 10 different toppings and stuffed tires) and the Chrysler Caesar (great for driving in a hail storm).

Entering the Inner Sanctum

Grumpy doesn't have many hobbies apart from bargain hunting and shouting at me for no apparent reason, but he does enjoy being a master mason and is a proud member of Euclid Lodge in downtown Naperville. I have no objection to this, apart from the shouting, but it does irritate me that it's an exclusive men's club. It's not that I want to join, but you know what it's like if someone tells you you can't do something. Anyhow, in England the masons always seemed like a bit of a secret society. That is less so here in the States, but even so, I know a whole bunch of secret stuff goes on that I don't know about.
Yesterday I was surprised to be invited to an instillation of officers for Red Lodge. So in case anyone is interested, I'm pleased to post some top secret photos for you to look at. I'm still not convinced the masons aren't up to something though. I normally pride myself in the quality of my photos, but this time most of them didn't come out....

This is the ceiling, which looked very mystic. A bit like the inside of a fortune teller's tent I imagine.

Fred spots an opportunity to catch up on his office work as the ceremony continues.

See, what did I tell you? In a desperate attempt to prevent me photographing, a mason zaps me with his magic gun.

The officers can't decide whether to play chequers or pretend they're in a rowing boat. Or both.

Grumpy proudly displays his regalia..........

They're Not Celebrities So Get Them Out Of Here

In my position as self proclaimed Naperville celebrity wannabe, I realize I need to put myself out there more. So today I'm pleased to tell you I'm going to appear in my own reality show "I'd Like To Be A Celebrity - Get Me In There".
Scene:
A muddy rain sodden forest preserve in Warrenville, Illinois. Six people are gathered round a camp fire.
Their only claim to fame is they've all appeared in this blog, which means no one knows who they are.

Hyacinth: Hallo everyone. Isn't this exciting? I wonder where the NCTV cameras are hidden?
The Duchess: Well I've just given a cup of tea to a man behind a bush, but he didn't appear to have a camera.
Grumpy: Aren't you all getting fed up with being manipulated by Hilary like this? Notice how she's never in any of these situations. She's putting her feet up in front of the tv while I'm stuck out here in this miserable forest preserve eating bugs.
Jett: Stop moaning man. No wonder she calls you Grumpy. I like her. She always writes lovely things about me on the blog. And for your information, no one told you to eat those bugs. They'll be bringing our order from Jimmy John's in a minute. Now get over here and help me build this shelter.
The Oracle: You know if you used this log it would work much better.
Venus: This one looks like a tennis racket. Who wants a game?
A rustling is heard in the bushes. Enter Hilary in a new outfit, full make up and fluorescent blue nail polish. The others stand back to admire her beauty. (Come on, what did you expect? If you don't like it, write your own blog).
Hyacinth: Hilary! You are here. Thank God. How would we survive without you?
The Duchess: You're right Hyacinth. Did you remember the tea bags? We've a spare cot for you over here, right beside the poison ivy.
Hilary: Good grief, you'd don't think I'm staying do you? My idea of roughing it is to spend a night in a three star hotel. I'm just popping in long enough to appear in the programme now and then. Must dash. See you later.

Green Fingers and Thumbs

I wonder if this has the seem meaning in America as it does in England?
It certainly describes how Grumpy felt after lugging bags of mulch and planting shrubs. We spent today working on the garden (or at least a tiny bit of it). Thought I'd post these pix before the plants died and the weeds took over.

Candlelit Supper

If it's June it must be summer, so despite chilly temperatures, last night we joined Spike, Divine and friends at Ravinia to hear the Gypsy Kings while we picnicked on the lawn.

When I've heard Spanish music before, it has usually been on a sticky Mediterranean evening. Seemed a little odd shivering in the cold, but that's Chicago for you.

Welcome Wagon

When I started this blog, it was to keep in touch with friends and family I'd left behind in England. After a while, people on this side of the pond started reading too, then I discovered I had a few regular followers in other countries, although I didn't know who they were. I've enjoyed our new way of life, and used the blog to improve my writing and showcase what I can do to pick up work where I can. Some new experiences will get me blogging several times a day. In quieter times you may notice a gap of a few days. (For your information, this often co-incides with a time when I don't get any comments. That makes me think no one is reading, so make sure you stay in touch out there!)
What I never expected to do on the blog was to encourage other people like me to move to Naperville. After all, it may be the third best place in the U.S. to live, but it's not exactly world famous.
Today I was thrilled to hear once again from my English blog friend in Dubai, who tells me in July she and her family are finally moving to Naperville. Like us, it's been a long road, but I was very touched that she felt the blog kept her going when she wasn't sure it was going to work out. She's warned me Naperville better be as nice as I keep saying it is or I'm in trouble.
So people of Naperville, this is where you come in. Before mid July, you have to paint all your houses, clip your grass, put on your best smiles and be truly welcoming if I'm to survive the possible wrath of a woman who is coming from a place where they chop off your hands if you steal something. I need a welcoming committee at the airport (complete with home-made muffin basket), a representative from 203 school district and someone from JoAnn's to guide them through all the red tape.

It's All In A Name

One day I'm going to write a piece purely made up of alternative words given by spell check - you know, when you come up with a perfectly reasonable word and they say it's wrong and give you something completely different.
But until then, I'm going to leave you with this one. Today I wrote 'Mayor Pradel' in next week's column for Naperville On Line Weekly. The spell check immediately leapt on it and amongst the alternative spellings were 'pride' and 'parade.' The way the mayor bangs the drum for Naperville, they both seemed oddly reasonable alternatives.