Entertainment Weakly

After more than three years of learning to play the Naperville networking game, suddenly I'm flavour of the month. In the past week I've landed two new contracts and am now treading the tricky line of covering the same events in different ways for different publications. I'm now specializing in entertainment as well as women, humour and general reporting, which means I'm finally back doing what I did in England when I started my journalism career, only now I seem to be a photographer too.
Which explains why this evening I found myself hanging around outside a house near Naperville station watching a movie being made. Shakey is the first 3D comedy about a dog who gets into trouble when his owners move into an apartment.
I've already interviewed the producers, but tonight was my only chance to talk to the actors. The one I was really after was Steve Guttenberg of Police Academy fame. When I got to the house it was still sunny so I happily sat outside to wait for a break in filming. The crew were hard at work in the back yard while I waited..and waited.
After two and a half hours I had interviewed the child star, her young co-star, the owner of the house and the dog. As it got dark I crept into the back yard where the film crew were setting up. No sign of Steve anywhere.
It got colder. Mosquitoes started munching on my feet. Not only was this irritating, but at
8.30 p.m. they'd had more to eat than I had.
But I was in a dilemma. When I did this job as a 20-year-0ld I was so shy and star struck I would have happily run off and lied to my editor that I couldn't get the interview. To be fair, I hadn't even seen Steve, and started to wonder if he was there at all.
Eventually I gave up and was heading towards my car when one of the crew asked me if I'd seen him yet. When I said I hadn't, she said that was because while I was at the back of the house, he was at the front! She thought he might be in his trailer....He wasn't.
Finally he was pointed out to me in the hospitality tent. It was so dark I had to ask him to stand by a citronella candle so I could see to write. Not quite Jay Leno.
In the end I got what I needed. He was very sweet, but you can never tell what these people will decide to talk about. He talked in depth about the recession, wondering if I thought it would ever end, followed by a poem about dog owners meeting their dead dogs when they reach heaven.
Still, I felt my 53-year-old self had finally exonerated her 20-year-old self and the only star I was struck by was by the one glittering away in the clear night sky.

Mission Possible

Here we are at the Alamo. Couldn't see John Wayne anywhere, but plenty of tourists.
After hearing the real story of the tragedy here, it was good to see a Texan flag flying.

Not sure if they meant before buying or ever...
This is where Davy Crockett stayed on his way to the Alamo...
Which was easy to find because it was clearly marked right on the other side of the road.

King of the Wild Frontier

Grumpy Crockett climbed off his horse at the gates to the old Texan mission.
"Thank goodness for that," he said dusting off his chaps, who wasted no time in high tailing it back to England. "I've been riding for days and it's about time I ungraded to something with a little more horse power. This must be place to rent a car, it says Alamo at the gate."
"No cars here, we've been under siege for days," said a tired looking man wielding a knife. "But you can come in and join our ranks if you like. We need as many soldiers as possible to rally against the Mexican dictator Santa Clausa."
"Ok, as long as you don't point that thing at me," said Grumpy, eying the knife. "My name's Crockett, Grumpy Crockett." He put out his hand for the man to shake.
"Pleased to meet you, I'm Jim Bowie, you may have heard of me, I invented the Bowie knife," he said.
"Nope, never heard of you," Grumpy confessed, "but I have several of your brother David's albums."
"Come in, come in, the canons will start firing again in a minute and I don't want to scare your cat," said Bowie.
"Cat?" said Grumpy. "I don't have a cat."
"There, on your head," replied Bowie. "That furry thing with a long tail......"

The Teeth At Night Aren't Big And Bright Deep In The Heart Of Texas

I started to brush my teeth before going to bed last night. Now before you think I've accidentally posted by Facebook update here, let me continue. I always take those tiny tubes of paste with me, and tend to buy the first one I find, not necessarily my usual brand.
"Ugh, this one is awful," I said to Grumpy, spitting it out. "It's like antiseptic."
He looked at the tube.
"That's because it's the cream for mosquito bites," he said.
My teeth may not have been any cleaner afterwards, but they haven't itched since.....

Sweet Dreams

I've slept in hotels where they left mints on the pillow, made swans out of towels and even covered the entire bed in rose petals, but I've never seen anything like this. Last night we returned to our room to find a tiny box and a little card. If you read it, you'll see tiny objects are worry dolls, which you're meant to put under your pillow to take your worries away. This would have been absolutely charming, if I wasn't tossing and turning all night worried I'd wake up with one stuck in my ear.....
Mind you, I think I have solved the Internet worry. Much quicker if you use it at a quiet time, which is why I'm writing this at 6.30 a.m.!

A River Runs Through It

A quick two hour plane ride later and here we are in sweltering San Antonio. This is the River walk that our Naperville version is based on, and very nice it is too. We braved the 102 degree temperatures to take a gentle ride along it before heading inside for the nearest pitcher of iced tea!



(Often when I'm away, it takes longer to upload photos so this is just a short selection to get started. If I'm not careful I'll end up spending the entire time in our hotel room uploading!)

Deep In The Heart Of Texas

It's holiday time again! Tomorrow we're off on another trip. Since my little travelogues came up high in the ratings of those of you good enough to tell me what you wanted from this blog, I'll invoice you when I get back!
Not content with the hottest summer in 30 years, we're taking a break from the heat to go somewhere hot - San Antonio, Texas! It's the 29th state on my quest to visit each and every one in the U.S.
Watch out for more puns ( remember, even they're going to be bigger and better in Texas), plenty of photos and lots of fun with me and Grumpy.
If there's any challenges you'd like to set us while we're away, or any suggestions of where we should go feel free to leave a comment.

Mayor's Golden Wedding: Hold the 18th Page

Sometimes it's just good to back to basics. As a cub reporter I was often given the task of writing Golden Wedding reports. I'd go round to old people's houses, sip tea and nibble Rich Tea biscuits while they told me their life stories. Every story would end with the question: "What is your recipe for a happy marriage?" and would end with the answer: "Give and take."
Yesterday, some 30 years later, I found myself doing the exact same task. Of course now the people don't seem quite so old or quite so ordinary. I finally got the scoop I'd been waiting for since I got here - I got to interview Mayor Pradel and more importantly his somewhat reclusive wife Pat.
To find out what they said you'll have to get tomorrow's Naperville Sun, or look it up on their website. It wasn't the most difficult story I've ever written, or necessarily the best. But as someone keen to delve into the underbelly of Naperville society, I can't think of anything more perfect.

He..e..r..e's Roddy! It's The Blago Show

Once upon a time there was a man called Blago who sold seats even though he didn't own a furniture store. As a result he was arrested and made to stand trial in Chicago. The trial went on for many weeks. The jury had such a good time they didn't want it to end, so they spent weeks deliberating to keep from returning to work.
The jury eventually decided that Blago was only guilty of half of one of the 24 counts against him. They told the judge and were allowed to go home.
Blago was delighted with the result. He decided it meant he was a hero! He didn't understand that guilty meant he had done something wrong and that he may have to go to prison. Even though he was convicted of the same crime that put Martha Stewart in prison, he thought she was only there to decorate the cells and bake cup cakes.
Blago's men, Sam Adam and his imaginatively named son Sam, spent the trial attending acting classes. Guessing they might lose the case, they decided if they performed well enough they would get their own reality show, The Adam Family: Law and Disorder.
The good news is that because the jury couldn't make up their minds, the whole trial will have to start again. This time all the jurors will come from Madagascar, the only place in the world not to have heard about the case, which is the only way Blago will get a fair trial.

Eat, Pray, Don't Bother: Part Three

Don't Bother
The sultry breeze, soft music and spicy smells meant just one thing. Hilary Gilbert found herself in Indian Harvest restaurant. (Of course technically she still hadn't 'found herself' at all, but you know what I mean).
She sat down a table opposite a short bald man with a toothless grin.
"Hallo Mayor Patel," she said. "Do you remember I came to see you years ago and you gave me this strange picture?"
She held out a piece of crumpled paper. Mayor Patel took it and turned it round the other way.
"I'm afraid I have no idea who you are, but this paper is one of my columns from the Naperville Sun."
"I am traveling the world trying to find myself," Hilary said. "Do you think I can find myself here in Naperville? Do you think I can find...er..love?"
"Well not from me you can't," laughed yogi mayor. (Think about it) "I've been married for 50 years to my lovely wife Pat. You'll be able to read all about it in Friday's edition of the Naperville Sun."
"Fifty years? Wow. In February I will have been married for 30 years and there are days when I'm not sure I'll make it that far!"
Leaving the restaurant Hilary got on her bicycle and rode off down the road. She was suddenly struck by a passing motorist.
"What do you think you're doing? I told you not to go out without the training wheels on!"
The grouchy voice could mean only one thing. It was her husband Grumpy.
"Look what you've done to my new car! I've only had it a week, now I'll have to go and buy another one," he said.

Eat, Pray, Don't Bother: Part Two

Pray
Hilary Gilbert entered the sanctuary. It was filled with people wearing little skullcaps and prayer shawls. It could mean only one thing. That she was inside Congregation Beth Shalom, Naperville.
She picked up a prayer book and looked at the text. It meant nothing to her. Even the English was written with weird American spellings. What was this strange world she had come to?
Nervous, she pushed her way through to the middle of the room and sat down. A grey haired man with a beard smiled at her
"Are you James Taylor?" she asked.
"Don't be silly, I'm the rabbi here," he replied.
"I've come here to find myself," Hilary said. "I want to immerse myself in your culture and find inner peace."
A jolly curly haired woman came up beside her. She was playing a guitar and smiling broadly.
"Our cantor will be able to help you," said the Rabbi. "She helps us all find peace with her beautiful voice. Trouble is she's taken a vow of silence for a week so you'll have to wait, but in the meantime you can use our meditation room. It's down the corridor."
Hilary walked through the two sets of double doors and made her way into a little room. She stayed there for many days, struggling to clear her head and find her inner self. Finally she cleared her mind of all thoughts and the light rushed in.
"There's my coat, I was wondering where I left it," said Cantor Hasha rummaging through the rails. "My goodness, what are you doing in here?"
"I thought this was the meditation room," said Hilary sheepishly.
Cantor Hasha laughed. "You do need to find yourself," she said. "You've been sitting in the coat closet all week."

Eat, Pray, Don't Bother: Episode One

With no apologies to this weekend's super hyped movie, Eat, Pray, Love....

Hilary Gilbert needed to find herself. She'd looked everywhere - under the bed, in the closet, up the chimney. If she'd have realized what lay ahead of her she'd have just looked in the bloody mirror like everyone else, but who thinks of that when they're stressed? There was nothing else for it, she decided to make a life changing journey...

Part One: EAT
Without the need for a plane, boat or Greyhound bus, Hilary finds herself in Naperville. She's astonished by the beauty that surrounds her, but she needs more than that. She's looking for food to feed her soul. Fortunately there are many accommodating eateries in downtown Naperville. She sits on a stone bench eating Belgian chocolate ice-cream, waving to the guys cycling by on their pedicabs. At Lou Malnati's she slurps on spaghetti.
"I really should have done that the other way round," she concludes.
"What a wonderous place this is. Not only do they have all the carbs I could ever wish for, but a dry cleaners to get the stains out of my white blouse."

Indian Summer

Quite frankly I'm getting a little worried about the assignments I'm being sent on lately. Last month it was celebrations to celebrate America's independence from the British, today it's a story about Indian Independence Day. Do you think my editor may be trying to tell me something?
Here in Naperville the Indian population is far smaller than in London, so watching their celebrations today almost made me feel homesick. When I worked in schools the children were always putting on shows of Indian dancing, so it was actually very nice to see the same thing on this side of the Atlantic. With most of these Indians American citizens, it's important for them to make their children aware of their roots.

Mayor Pradel became honorary Mayor Patel for a day as he helped raise the Indian flag outside City Hall.

"I know it's hot, but you'll be able to fan yourself if you hold them like that."
One little girl rehearses for Wheel of Fortune.
"Anyone fancy going for a curry afterwards?"
"Over here!"
These young dancers went through hoops to put on a good show for the crowd.
"Our flag waving is better than your flag waving."
Time for a patriotic song...
Miss India contestants seem to get younger and younger.
"This is how you do it."
One little girl looks forward to Australia Day.

Reasons Why I Have Not Posted For A While

1. I'm on the jury for the Rod Blagojevitch trial and am not allowed to use a computer.
2. It's so hot when I try to type my fingers stick to the keys.
3. I've been too busy applying insect repellent.
4. I've been too busy applying bite cream to the bits that I missed with the repellent.
5. I've been Halloween shopping, after all the stuff is already in the stores. Next week Christmas.